writing down the sun

Still in Love

Posted in strung out by annie on April 21, 2007

We’re still in the heady honeymoon days of the new relationship, my violin and I. I love him, he responds with – well, as much fervor as his $50 little body can muster.

So far, I’ve practiced every day since picking it up from Earl. I have graduated from “Mary Had a Little Lamb” to my first semi-classical piece, “Ode to Joy.” (Semi- only in that it’s a very simplified arrangement.) I’m still having trouble keeping a nice intonation shifting from the A string to the E string and back again. Oddly, I don’t have that same problem between A and D – wonder why that is?

I’m concerned about my wrist placement and the bowing movement in general. I keep wondering if I’m doing it right. And then I bump headlong into the real problem with teaching yourself – who’s going to correct those bad habits before they become ingrained? Perhaps a teacher is more of a necessity than a better instrument, then, at this point.

But the category for this post is “passion” and so I’ll return to that topic. It’s something that’s been lacking in my life lately, in massive quantities. Even the breakup of my marriage wasn’t terribly passionate. Sad, surely, and a little bittersweet. Yes, there were some arguments but  mostly civil ones, promptly resolved. We’re not angry at each other, we still hang out periodically as friends, and we’re both very much “as one” where our daughter’s concerned.  I’ve missed that passion – feeling a deep longing for something has got to be one of the most amazing sensations in the world, a gift of being human.  So, I’m particularly intrigued by this development, or realization of the previous passion I’d felt for the violin. Why now? What made it jump from what it’s always been – a pleasant “someday/maybe” fantasy – to what it is now – a fully realized “MUST do this” project?

Was it the separation? Or are both those things merely symptomatic of a larger awakening?

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