writing down the sun

baby steps

Posted in beach life, the big picture, what i'm thinking now by annie on January 30, 2009

Believe it or not, according to my records this is my first blog post in about six months (excluding posts at my law practice blog).

This from the woman who ran, at one time, no less than 9 blogs simultaneously.

The reasons behind my disappearance from the blogosphere were mostly self-imposed – no, scratch that. Entirely self-imposed. I wanted to see if I could do it — step back from this mad habit — and I wanted to see what my life was like without it.

Conclusions: Yes. And “OK, but I don’t prefer it as a way of life.”

There was more to it, of course. There were projects that demanded attention, and there were major lifechanges brewing in the French Press of Life that had to be Attended To.  Mostly, it was a decision based on need: time management needs, psychological needs, and professional needs.

So, over the last six months or so, I’ve had the opportunity to do some deep-level thinking about life, the universe and everything and while I don’t have the final score yet, I can most readily assure you that not one of my answers is “42.”  (Ironically, though, that is my age. But it’s not an answer, because age is irrelevant.)

Some of the blogs, I’m keeping. The Inspired Solo was helpful, and can still be. I may not be the person to run it any longer, but up it will stay, at least for the time being. The SC Bankruptcy & Consumer Law Blog will be transferred to the wonderful Däna Wilkinson, who has graciously allowed me to come back from time to time and post some thoughts as a non-lawyer.

Oh, yeah. That.

Sorry to bury the lede, but that’s pretty much indicative of my thoughts on this particular decision. For many reasons, none of which I can discuss here yet, I’ve decided to retire from the practice of law, as soon as I get this current crop of clients shepherded through their cases. And oddly, after ten years of angst-ridden internal debate on the question, now that I’ve finally decided, it’s no longer a big deal to me. Not even close to being the biggest thing I’ve got going on right now.

It’s a serious deal, to be sure. This is not the kind of thing you can just shut the door on, or delete a website and be done with it. There are matters to be handled, in particular ways. There are people to be helped. There are papers to be signed, and disclosures to be made, and I’ve made them – or will make them at the appropriate point. So, serious. But not important personally.

What is important: the projects in my Things window —

  • Moving back home to the Tar Heel state, and all that implies (packing up, securing housing, finding a part-time job, warning my brother and sister-in-law so they can make plans to be on vacation the week I need help moving in, that kind of thing)
  • Helping the daughter prepare for the big move (a task unto itself)
  • Dealing with the thing that brought me here (how vague)
  • And launching my new full-time freelance writing career

About that last: I’m scared, hell yes. It’s a scary, scary thing. But it excites me in a way that is new and wonderful, and it’s not mere denial. I mean, I know how scary it is! And I want to do it anyway. This? It’s a huge risk. And it’s one I simply have to take on myself. I simply cannot turn another year older with this “should I or shouldn’t I?” crap still roiling inside my head. Time to answer the question, and the only way to answer it definitively, is to do it, and give it my all. Whatever happens from there I’ll accept. I may grumble and/or rage but I’ll accept.

What I can no longer accept: living life mindlessly, doing the things I “ought” to be doing because I “should” and because it’s what “others” “expect.” I’m sick of living life in the quote marks. Full stop.

So, some housekeeping: we’re moving from here to a new domain: http://www.sherriesisk.com. That will happen over the next few days. I’ll keep the posts to date up here, as well, at least for the time being, but old posts will also migrate over there.

Aaaand … I’ll keep ya posted.

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rainy days at the beach

Posted in beach life by annie on April 11, 2007

Last week was my daughter’s spring break. We spent lots of time at the beach – four days out of the seven – and I have the sunburn to show for it. My daughter, on the other hand, never burns. Is that because I’m more careful with applying her sunscreen? Or is there some genetic variant in her skin tone – visibly more golden than my pale Irish complexion – that renders her less susceptible to the sun’s harmful rays?

No one’s getting a tan today, though. It’s the second day back at school for my daughter and her classmates, and the first day I’ve had to really concentrate on getting work done. The sky’s overcast, dark and roiling with a thunderhead in the west, across the Waterway. The azaleas glisten dully in the rain, purple and pink under a silver veil.

And I have to get back to work.